I’m rushing to throw together an outfit. I trust that I picked out a good one last night, but it just feels... I don’t know... off. Can anything really feel right for this?! What will she think of my outfit?! Will she be impressed, embarrassed, mortified... AGHHH!
“It’s just one coffee date”, I tell myself. BREATHE! in...hold...out..., again. Damn, that really does help. You can leave at any point, you are in control of the situation, they are just a part of you.
I get an alert on my Apple watch: coffee date in 15 minutes. I know it takes me 8 minutes to get my shoes, coat, and pocket stuff together and get there. Seven minutes till we’re exactly on time, but let's leave in 5 so we’re there reasonably early without seeming too desperate.
I throw on and pull off another few shirts, and end up sticking with something so similar to what I picked out the night before. My room is spotless, minus the ‘chair’ that is littered with shirts and cargos. I think of all the times I’ve had this mountain of clothes while trying to find what feels right on my body. I haven't had this panic in a while; I’ve felt so good in my body recently, but today is different, there’s just more nerves.
I have Google shut off all the lights in the house, grab my keys, and check myself out in the mirror. We did good! Okay! Now... jacket time. “Let’s get out of here” I whisper to myself as I race down the hall to catch the elevator, still amazed I live in such a nice building.